


"normal" is a subjective concept

by bossymarmalade (maggie)



Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Best Friends, Gen, Genderswap, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-18
Updated: 2007-01-18
Packaged: 2017-10-06 17:11:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maggie/pseuds/bossymarmalade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>hijinks never end when you live at westchester</p>
            </blockquote>





	"normal" is a subjective concept

**Author's Note:**

> standard foreword: if i have written something problematic/oppressive to a marginalized group that you find hurtful, please please please don't think twice about telling me. i will never spew hate at you, will never attack you, and i will always thank you and make the change.

It was really amazing how loud silence could be, when it came down to it.

"I don't--" Jean eventually began, then settled for, "hmmmm," and quickly busied herself with her frosted mini-wheats. Scott folded his arms, looking as perturbed as a man could without eye-expression.

"So," Hank ventured hopefully in an effort to forestall the return of the silence, "I say that the three of us -- and Warren, we can ask Warren, wouldn't want to forget him, after all, because we've all experienced the extreme range of effect of a good Worthington sulk -- I say the four of us go downtown later today, nothing special, maybe stop in at Harry's, get some malts or beer or ooh, I know, I hear he just added *egg creams* to the menu--"

"It really is your fault," Scott interjected, and Hank dropped his head into his hands.

"I know!"

Jean picked up her bowl consideringly, tilting it so the sugary milk sloshed back and forth. "Bobby was kind of asking for it," she said, and Scott snorted.

"If we all tried to get Bobby back for all the idiotic crap he's pulled on us over the years, it would be a Marx Brothers movie in here twenty-four-seven," he said. "And anyway, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the fact that it was Hank's fiddling around with genetic rearrangement that turned Bobby into a woman in the first place, and Jean, don't drink that milk, it's gross."

Jean froze, rim of the bowl already at her lips, and gently set it down. "He's just upset because of Bobby, y'know, wanting us to call him Lorna," she stage-whispered across the table at Hank. "It makes him feel all weird and conflicted inside."

"I *could* try to parse that statement, but I'd really rather not," Hank told Jean, who looked inordinately pleased with herself.

"I can't wait till Alex and Lorna get here tomorrow for dinner," she cooed. Hank pointed and said, "Scott's drinking your sugar-milk."

A brief struggle involving telekinetic powers ensued, during which Warren came skidding into the kitchen, looking scared. "You guys, I think Lorna's crazy or possessed or dying or *something*, because I just saw her out in the hall and she grabbed my ass and said I was 'worth two in the bush', whateverthehell *that* means."

"That's not Lorna," Hank said with a modicum of calmness as Jean dissolved into giggles and Scott spluttered a mouthful of milk all over the counter. "It's Bobby."

"It said it was Lorna," Warren said dubiously. "You're saying that's not Lorna?"

"Bobby's Lorna," Jean supplied, sounding chipper.

Warren waved his hands. "Can we call them Lorna One and Lorna Two, or something?" he asked. "Because I'm getting confused."

"Ahhhhhh, yes." Jean leaned back in her chair, locking her hands behind her head. "I love the way this job comes with himboes as far as the eye can see." She grinned. "Oh, except you, of course, Hank. And you, Scott."

Scott looked mildly hurt. "I can be himbo."

"You know," Hank observed to the air, "at this point, I'm starting to think this entire rigmarole possibly isn't the unusual occurrence I originally thought it might be. Thank you, my friends, for putting it into perspective."

There was a crash out in the foyer, and they heard Bobby exclaim loudly, "My magnetic powers have been negated! This could only be the work of -- Magneto! CURSE YOU, DADDY!!!!"

Hank closed his eyes, pained.


End file.
